No is not a bad answer...

My father recently shared a sweet story about my nephew with me. Like any three-year old, he struggles with the word “no.” He has not fully mastered speaking, so often when he asks for something and the answer is no, he responds angrily. He assumes that we must not understand him and gets frustrated that he cannot communicate what he wants. Even worse, sometimes when he recognizes we do understand and that we are not giving him what he wants, he loses it! As all three-year old’s, he does not like the answer no.

Here's the story: My parents and his took him grocery shopping. He was very excited! He loves his family and he loves going to the store. And sometimes they even buy fun things! When he saw grandma’s favorite drink, he got it out of the cooler and tried to put the drink in the cart. When he was told to put the drink back, he started to get frustrated because he had a plan with that drink…a sweet, considerate plan… and grandpa was ruining it. Grandpa said “no” and put the drink back! My nephew was filled with an overwhelming amount of emotions and just sat down on the floor of the grocery store, face in his hands, pouting. How do you explain to a three-year old that all this is unreasonable? Well, his grandpa just walked over and gently explained, “you know, no is not a bad answer.” And eventually my nephew just put his arms up for grandpa to pick him up.

This answer makes sense to adults. Kids do not know what is best for themselves and often need to be told no. We understand it is good to tell a child no. Because sometimes it protects a child to tell them no. But when it comes to our own lives….we do not see this principle the same way.

This anecdote put a picture in my mind of how God has been treating me. This year has been hard on my prayer life. There have been some specific things I have prayed that I felt went unanswered, for a time. Prayers that God has yet to answer other than “wait.” And even specific prayers that God has definitely answered with a resounding no. And it has been a wrestling match that brought me to the point of exhaustion, to a moment where I was just sitting on the floor full of emotions. About the same level of emotion as a three-year old in the grocery store. In that moment the Lord was so gentle with me and I ended up filled with peace, hope, and love. Peace because my shepherd is good and takes care of me. Hope because God’s plans work together for the good. Love for my gracious master and a desire to sit at His feet like Mary did. This last week I have been bursting out in praise for some of the times He said no this year. They ended up being some of the best answers I have ever received from the Lord. The ones that led to the most peace and joy I have experienced in my life. This picture is stark in my mind. God is not treating me angrily even when I am. He is just picking up a child who is overwhelmed in His arms and showing me that His no is not a bad answer. All His answers are good!